How to Have a Few Without Gaining A Few

The other day at the YMCA while running on the treadmill, I fell into an interesting conversation with my retired workout buddies. We started this little chat after one of them noticed I was taking more water breaks than usual. He says, “Geez, you’re sure drinkin’ a lot of water today. What, did you have some drinks last night?”

Busted.

So, I started laughing (and had to quickly jump on the sides of the treadmill to prevent falling on my face).“Why yes I did have a few cocktails last night,” I confessed while sneaking another chug of H2O. “That’s why I’m here burnin’ them off today.” Immediately, another guy on the rowing machine pipes up, “Yup. I got it all figured out. Forty-two minutes on the elliptical burns exactly a six-pack of Miller Lite.”

I was astonished. Until this moment, I thought it was only health nuts like me who were worried about all the calories I was drinking on Wednesday nights. This was amazing; these 50+ men had their daily workouts down to a science: a beer consumption science. They had figured to the exact minute how they could put away their beer and not let their gut show it. Genius I say. Pure genius.

So, for you my friends, I pass this knowledge on to you. I have done the work of calculating the exercise necessary to burn off your favorite alcoholic beverages. There’s no need to thank me. It’s important that us Rangers stay healthy while maintaining true Iron Range tradition. Feel free to mix and match.

*Amount of calories burned will vary upon intensity of exercise performed